CNN has a TV show, during which they regularly show child wives of Afghanistan, Pakistan and other Asian countries who have become victims of their husbands’ abuses. The brute (I cannot pick another word) husband of one of those girls just cut her nose. Now psychologists work with the victim of abuses, she will undergo serious surgery. From time to time, we hear about cases of such sadism in Armenia too, but often not husbands, but mothers-in-law appear as offenders. Probably, it is our national feature – the very woman shows cruel attitude toward another woman, against the background of the son’s weak will. Such a case was considered in the court of Ararat and Vayots Dzor yesterday. The general principle is naturally the same both in Armenia and Afghanistan – the good time is behind you, if you have found yourself in trouble, you have to bear it, keep silent, otherwise you will be disgraced etc. That psychology is characteristic of underdeveloped Eastern countries. It is good that Mariam has found strength to bring her case to the court. But there are so many women who silently bear abuses.
What does the slave dream of? S/he dreams of not freedom, but having a slave. According to the same logic, the daughter-in-law thinks, as a rule, “when my son grows up, gets married and brings a girl home, I will retaliate for all humiliations I am going through today.” It is also one of the manifestations of our timeserving attitude – seeing illegality, unfairness, we usually don’t think of protesting, but living peacefully and using that unfairness. It is much more difficult to defend one’s integrity rather than, swallowing the insult, to start insulting someone else. In the same manner, after being deceived, people long for deceiving other people in turn, when they give a bribe, they wish they took the bribe etc. Thus, immorality and arbitrariness move in a circle. That is why when they say that such mothers-in-law or husbands should be burned, hanged etc., I think it is wrong – they should be tried and isolated from the society.
There is, however, one difference between our country and Afghanistan – there they wed girls without asking, whether they like it or not. The majority of girls in Armenia “voluntarily” accept slavery. Thus, a piece of advice – dear girls, if you meet a boy and you intend to marry him, don’t rush! Firstly thoroughly examine your future mother-in-law. If you find something doubtful, don’t marry! No matter how much you love that boy.
ARAM ABRAHAMYAN
