Last week, the requirements from non-ruling quartet, in my opinion, were not radical enough, and I will try to fill the gap by approaching the issue more comprehensively.
(1) Achieve full and complete capitulation of Azerbaijan by September 1 and recognition of Karabakh thereby. Enter into negotiations in the next two months about returning the territories left in the composition of Azerbaijan.
(2) Enroll Westerns Armenian in the Republic of Armenia by September 1 and enter into negotiations about Cilician Armenian enclave.
(3) Multiply the population of Armenia by September 1, at least three times.
(4) Increase the wages at least 40-fold.
(5) Convince the Armenian cows to give at least twice as much milk.
(6) Remove the red lines, cameras, speedometers and street lights as the main reason for emigration of Armenians.
(7) Make the urban transportation in Yerevan, electricity, and gas free.
(8) Eliminate taxes, instead take away the wealth from the rich once a month, and put them in the jars and place them in the Freedom Square, and enable those who wish to take as much as they want.
(9) Prohibit supermarkets and sell the entire product only on the counters.
(10) Allow the oppositions to hold rallies with smoke bombs if they pursue righteous goals.
(11) Allow the opposition supporters to fire on the police, if it’s a form of political protest.
(12) Enroll Armenian in the composition of Russia by September 1, and ask Vladimir Vladimirovich to appoint a governor who cares about the people.
(13) Ensure, in a diplomatic way, Armenia’s national football team’s participation in the World Championship in Brazil, and ensure that our team becomes the world champion.
If my 13 requirements are not fulfilled by September 1, I am going to write another article, in which I will wrap up the fulfillment of my requirements.
ARAM ABRAHAMYAN
