If I encounter with a difficult situation, if I have problems, then my first task should be the self-analyses. The test questions are as follows: whether I am an unbiased in the assessment of the situation, whether I do not condemn myself or anybody, whether I know people who being approximately in the same situation were able to find solutions. This certainly is not my invention; such recommendations are given by psychologists dealing with business consultancy.
Out of these recommendations, I like most of all the one saying about not condemning anybody. Why is this important? Because, it is typical to people to look for the guilty when something happens. This is a process that can last forever: you are condemning, the other is justifying or is “passing to a counterattack” and begins blaming you. As a result, the problem is not solved but get more aggravated. The point is that even if the problem is not caused because of you, this does not mean that it is not your problem.
Equally it is bad when we censure ourselves: I am weak, I am not talented, I should have said this way and done that way. Firstly, it makes no sense to waste time on it, secondly, compassion towards our own dearest person immediately classifies us in the row of “victims of circumstances”, while no one has achieved anything in the status of a victim.
Over 25 years, I am hearing accusations, censures, excuses, response accusations (“And what about you?”), as well as self-scourging, “this nation …”, “this country …” and so on. When a politician sits in front of me, I know by heart what he is going to say. He either will accuse the “regime”, the “administration”, the government, the president and many other officials, or if he is from the opposite side, he will justify saying, “Yes, there are some drawbacks, but most of them have objective reasons”. And a counterattack, “Let them not pin any hope on the short memory of the people.” When a stranger stops me in the street with an intention to talk with me, I also usually know what he is going to say: he will start from the government authorities and end up with “this nation” and “this country.”
It is much more interesting to listen to the experts who have certain ideas on this or that sphere. But it’s interesting for me personally, while the old and over 25-year chewing gum of “accusation-justification” is in demand for the TV viewers, readers and the users. For me, this chewing gum has long ago lost its taste and smell. However, as is well known, supply creates its own demand.
Aram ABRAHAMYAN
