Doubting your own efforts and thoughts is similarly useful
“How to develop confidence in their own abilities?” Thousands of books and articles are dedicated to this topic, whose authors are giving reasonable and not so reasonable advice. But as far as I know, no one has given a convincing answer to the question about why this self-confidence is necessary. They say in order to influence other people. But is it mandatory? And if I do not want to influence anyone. Hitler was very influential, he washed the brain of a whole nation. Having not particularly high intellectual level, he was overly self-confident and able to “move ahead” his chimera. Do you want to be a little “Führer” at work or at home? Or maybe you have a pretention to lead fascinated crowds behind you to a bright future? Then you must develop confidence in your own abilities.
They also say that self-confidence is necessary to be able to “pick up a girl” you liked. Allegedly, the girls like those who are self-confident more. And if I am already acquainted with the one whom I should have. And then, is self-confidence the only way to like people and there is no more important virtues? And in general, is being liked by someone an end in itself? But if you are 15 years old and have a problem with “picking up a girl”, then you probably need to develop confidence in your own abilities.
They say he is a self-confident man would be able to sell his product faster. Here, I completely agree. If you are standing in the market and, let’s say, are selling pickled chili peppers, then when a customer comes to you and asks for a price, you should say, “first, taste it.” And depending on how confident he says it, the more active the customer’s receptors will work. Or, if you are a sectarian and go out to the street for a “manhunt”, then a lot depends on how confident you tell to your “caught” person, “I want to talk to you.” In short, if you want to sell something, it should undoubtedly master the art of appearing confident.
But if you do not have any ambition to influence anybody, the issue of getting acquainted with a girl is not topical for you, and you are not going to sell anything tangible or “spiritual”, then it is not so clear why you should not doubt your abilities, your persuasion or brought up ideas. If I have my steadfast “prescriptions” for every case of the life (which, by the way, are usually not the result of my own reflection but are borrowed from this-or-that “reputable” sources), and it is the basis of my self-confidence, then I look like an animal, which a few decades ago was irreplaceable in the difficult passable mountain roads, but mentally is not an authority at all.
There is one more thing here that seems controversial to me. What do you mean by saying develop this-or-that thing in you? In other words, let’s say, you are cruel and support violence, but are you developing kindness and tolerance in you? Do you want to present not in the appearance, which you actually have? Or, I am weak by character, and do I want to appear strong? Or, I am not confident in myself, but do I want to be confident? Is it not better to continue to live with the doubts in your heart?
Gregory of Narek’s “Book of Lamentations” is an entire doubt, the poet and the philosopher is fighting with himself in every line. Therefore, it is a brilliant work.
Aram ABRAHAMYAN,
Aravot Daily
