As we have bank accounts where there are incomes and expenses, so as there are emotional and spiritual “accounts” where either we add something or spend something. The mechanism is very simple and clear: envy, hatred, jealousy, the thoughts and words associated therewith reduce our “money”, whereas love, mutual assistance, and tolerance grow.
There are families where the spouses constantly notice the mistakes and flaws (which are inevitable) of each other and “pick at” but they will never speak about the merits and virtues of each other and will never say that they love each other. There are institutions where the head reprimands his employees day and night and complains that they are ignorant and idle but when they obviously work well and benefit the institution, he will no way say words of encouragement and appreciation. Neither at the workplace nor in the family and elsewhere, heavy words do not solve any problem. The only impact that they leave is as follows: some money is reduced from the “balance” of the one who says these words. If the “balance” is negative, if he so to speak “fails” then the person’s place is probably in a psychiatric hospital. The positive adds while the negative decreases, there is nothing complex here. We understand it by the brain but we do not accept in spirit, it seems to us that our pronounced negative word reduced something in the “balance” of our chosen target while in reality, it is directed solely against us.
If a lawmaker calls the other lawmaker a “bastard” and the other one hints of the greatness of his nose, therewith, the tax burden will neither become heavy nor light; the communities will neither be consolidated nor fallen apart. The noses or ears of the addressees will neither become more beautiful or more ugly. The only thing that will happen is that the one who says it will lose a few points from his emotional “balance”. Certainly, the matter is not only about the lawmakers. For example, I have met very few cases when, let’s say, the journalists get together and say cordial and respectful words about the missing journalists. On the contrary, gossiping and undermining the colleagues happens every day. I specifically brought the example of the journalists not to offend people of other professions. It goes without saying that dispute and competition are ordinary but for me personally, the dispute and competition are secondary and petty issues today.
… In the end, I would like to quote an American business consultant Stephen Covey’s thought: “Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. The way we see the problem is the problem.”
Aram ABRAHAMYAN
