Ever since I can remember, I always felt excited during the holidays. Soon it would be the New Year, where I would get presents, meet friends and family, I wouldn’t have school (university, work), and I would be able to read my books.
That’s how it was every year. That is also how I welcomed 2020. This is the first time where I’m not feeling excited or any semblance of happiness. Instead, I feel bitterness, disappointment, and anger.
I don’t know if people my age feel the same way, but after November 10, 2020, it seems as though the last 30 years of my life were meaningless. Everything I believed in was for nothing. It was destroyed and turned to dust. I think that Artsakh and the Armenian state are in free fall, and I don’t see any way to stop that.
I understand that many people don’t feel the same way, especially young people. They are more focused on “rejecting Serzh,” and the revolutionary rhetoric and vain promises are still ringing in their ears. They are still guided by that agenda, which has long since exhausted itself. Well, if they continue to rejoice in the ‘achievements’ of the revolution and do not feel pain from the loss of Artsakh and the Armenian state, then let them celebrate the New Year with joy. Have fun!
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But I, to be honest, cannot overcome the bitterness and anger instead of me. I am bitter about the embarrassing loss. But I am also angry about the fact that official propaganda does not consider this to be a loss. It is angering that the main person to blame for that loss- the Prime Minister- has not only remained in power and has held onto his policies, but he also continues to make harsh speeches on almost a daily basis, blaming the ‘former’ regime while also promising us a ‘bright future.’
I am angry and surprised by the fact that there are thousands of people who believe in that, and who don’t understand the extent of the catastrophe that took place. I am deeply insulted that a team that has no idea how to leave continues to stay in power in Armenia, despite the fact that the current Prime Minister is beneficial to Putin and Aliyev.
But anger and bitterness are not good feelings. We should at least try to see some kind of light in the far future- in a future that my generation most likely won’t see. Perhaps the New Year and Christmas holidays will allow us to see that light.
Aram Abrahamyan
