I do not know whether I have the right to give advice. Let them be not advice but recommendations. They can be helpful if you want to be happy. Let’s start with the simplest: call your beloved ones during the working day without any practical reason. Rather than what to buy from the shop, when to take the child, when to bring back but just for nothing, just to hear the voice say that you love him/her. In no case, do not control him/her: where you had gone, whom you were speaking with, who entered and who went out. This leaves a very unpleasant impression on both the woman and the ones around. Once, we got into a taxi and the young driver was engaged in such “interrogation” for about 20 minutes. If you have such deep suspicions of your partner, then it is better not to “make friends with” him/her.
Generally, the stupidest thing in people’s private life is the attempts to controlling. (Nothing will work in the companies and state level without a control, otherwise, the mechanisms will not work). But ruling-obeying in interpersonal relations, control and fear of control, seeking for your word be the final in the dispute, all of this is so minor and so unimportant that it is not worth spending time and psychic efforts. I, for instance, cannot say who is the main in our house, who is the subject, who is the cotton and who is the bell because such questions are raised at all. In the world and particularly, in human relationships, there are far more interesting things rather than defining the relationships by such topics. Incidentally, in this respect, the talk on gender equality-inequality, I think, are not also particularly meaningful.
The second stupid thing is to “love on condition”. You have heard that the parents tell their children, if you put the things in your room in their places, I will love you, and if not, I will not love you. Or, when you are not happy with something in your child’s behavior, the grown-ups say, “Go away, I do not love you” without realizing what a deep wound they cause to their child. Exactly, in the same way, you should love the woman unconditionally, “without preconditions”, if you have a grudge against somebody, then you do not love. Ten, you are in a trade deal. It is a greater foolishness to try to change your girlfriend with the help of blackmailing. It is useless, it is better to change their own views and perspective.
And finally, you should not be afraid of appearing ridiculous, in love, “not masculine” and “defeated” in someone’s eyes. No mortal can be your judge. Importantly, you like yourself.
Aram ABRAHAMYAN
