In the Tarkovsky’s movie “Stalker”, and respectively in the original book of the same name, he talks about a man, who commits suicide when his real wishes come true. Probably he had a too good opinion about his wishes. To define a real desire is not such an easy and harmless thing to do, but it’s necessary. Without those definitions life becomes pointless. Sometimes, as we have seen in the example above, it becomes pointless to even with those definitions.
If someone asks one of us what we want, the answer, most probably, will be: “I want my salary to raise tenfold. I want a good car, a good house, health for my dear ones” if it’s a young man answering then a lot of luck in the love front. And finally “I want to live in a fair and lawful country”.
I think those are not desires, they are empty dreams because a desire must be defined as a planned and conscious choice: as a meaning of life if you will. I strongly doubt that deep down one can accept that the mentioned wishes are the meaning of his life. And if one lives without a meaning, without a goal, neither a castle nor an expensive car can make him happy.
For instance, let’s take “I want to live in a lawful country”. It means that there is “lawful country” somewhere or your country will magically become one and I will sit here legs crossed and enjoy that lawfulness. But then I myself welcome the gross violations of law, or I myself act illegally in the circle that I am trusted with.
So before voicing out your wishes, everyone should ask themselves: “Do I really want it or am I just talking about that desire because, let’s say, it is accepted to want those things in my circle? Do I really want the Turks to return Mount Ararat (And if they do, what am I going to do with it?)? Or am I just voicing this wish of mine, because it’s a “national desire”? Do I really want to become a police officer or am I just saying it because they earn a lot of money?”
To seriously define your personal and national desires is necessary. It seems like we were close to it in 1988, but then we fell into the dreamland just like individuals dream about luxury cars, a lawful country or Mount Masis. Often, individuals and nations do not know what they should do; they do not realize what their mission is. And that is the compulsory ingredient of the real desire.
ARAM ABRAHAMYAN
