I frequently use the word “abizhnik” (from the word “обижник” in Russian, meaning a person who is offended and bears malice towards the person having offended him or her), which is an ugly, foreign and not understandable word to my compatriots who do not know Russian. However, I do not know any other word that will characterize people’s emotions and the “engine” of their thoughts and moods. I have already brought the people having left Armenia in past 25 years as an example. The majority of them are deeply offended from the First, Second and Third Presidents of the Republic of Armenia and the authority they headed, from certain officials, oligarchs who, according to those people, have made them leave their country. Perhaps those people have good houses, cars, they eat tasty barbeques and kebabs every day, but at the depth of their hearts they are unhappy. And the main reason for their unhappiness is that they consider themselves to be the VICTIMS of the aforementioned people or institutions.
But why only those people? And what about me? About half a century ago a substitute of physical education came to our class – I remember his name until now, but will not reveal here. He was very young, and perhaps for that reason he was trying to self-sustain due to offending the children. He offended me as well. You see? 50 years have passed, and I still remember it. Such cases, especially when they happen in childhood, leave a seal on our souls, it is inevitable. However, I started to understand at a very mature age, after I was 40, that those cases need not to be forgotten (the harder you try to forget them, more frequently you remember them), I should radically forgive. Otherwise I will become the VICTIM of the teacher of physical education. “No, I will never forgive him (them), and what about Hitler? Taleat? Stalin?” this will be the response of the majority of readers. But forgiving radically (this term is used by American psychologist Colin Tipping) does not mean that you should become friends with the person having offended you and that you justify his deeds, that you do not demand a punishment if he has made a crime, it does not also mean that you should not learn from what has happened. It means only one thing: you take out the seal, the “bookmark” from your heart and stop being the VICTIM of people, institutions and circumstances. If you are offended, then you feel yourselves victims.
Aram ABRAHAMYAN
