And this is what makes life interesting
On the days of tragedy in Gyumri, I was reading “condemning” and “moral inquisition” resembling posts on the Facebook about why we are smiling, why we are photographing, why we you going to cafés and so on. It seems to me that it is a wrong approach. Each one takes his grief in his own way. Similarly, each one contacts his relatives in his own way, spends his leisure in his own way, loves his favorite music and watches the films which he likes. None of us can assume the role of the judge and say this is right and this is wrong.
The vast majority of the population in Armenia (in fact, not only elderly women and not only in the kitchen) spends most of the day by discussing someone else’s life.
In Europe, people are more restrained. Especially, in the north. In Finland, for example, people can gather around the table and be silent, it is not a tradition there “to share grieves and sorrows.” You can meet with people in the cafés who are sitting at different tables and are silent. And since there like throughout the Europe it is accepted to respect the right for private life, no one tries to approach and start conversation. Finns also bear the suffering in silence. This courage helped them to bear Russian domination with dignity, many bloody wars, as well as unfavorable weather conditions. Berthold Friedrich Brecht ironically wrote about the Finns that they “were silent in two languages” at the railway station. Meaning, Finnish and Swedish.
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I should note that being silent for some time, the vow of silence not just in western but also in eastern systems is considered a means of mental and even physical therapy. For example, Ayurveda, the Indian traditional medicine, recommends making a vow of silence for some time for gaining energy. The idea of vow of silence also exists in Christianity, both in direct meaning by focusing on divinity, and figuratively by refraining from certain topics. Here, such topics should be considered the person’s private life, family relationships, innermost feelings, if given person does not show initiative of his own to talk on such topics.
But if the Europeans do not poke their noses into one another’s private life, it does not mean that they are not friendly towards each other. On the contrary, they are too friendly, but only when the person in front expresses a desire for you to stretch out your hand to him. This is done in solid and systematic way, at personal and social level. School, community, church and various NGOs organize this assistance so that the “beneficiaries” are not obligated to anyone and do not have to express a public thank you to the “great benefactors”.
Personal and family matters are discussed not among neighbors and relatives by “chatter boxing” but with psychologists. Thus, limiting the number of those who have access to people’s personal lives, on the other hand, those who need it communicate with people who have professional skills.
By gossiping, discussing and condemning, we willy-nilly want to impose our ideas about life and our standards to people. And this, ultimately, makes the reality poor. Should all people were alike, it would be possible to substitute one with the other. While individuality, as it is known, is irreplaceable.
Aram ABRAHAMYAN
